September 28 Is 'Ask A Stupid Question Day,' So Here's Some Hilarious Inspiration

SEPTEMBER 27, 2016  —  By Madeline Distasio  
Madeline Distasio

Madeline Distasio

Writer and editor holding it down in Philadelphia. Interests include drawing, exclusively wearing black, having too many books to fit in my tiny apartment, and choosing my dachshund over people.

The internet is good for three things: shopping for things you absolutely do not need, getting into fights with cousins you haven't seen in 30 years, and losing your will to live.

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And in case you haven't been able to do much of the third one lately, I'm here to shatter your overall desire to keep getting out of bed every day.

Because September 28 is "National Ask a Stupid Question Day," I thought it'd be fun (read: soul-crushing) to dig around for the worst things people have ever asked online. I just want to be here for you in case you need some inspiration before Wednesday rolls around. You're welcome.

1. "Can I tell by the smell of my husband's gas if he's been cheating?"

"Can I tell by the smell of my husband's gas if he's been cheating?"

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(via Yahoo / gwennthered)

2. "Do midgets have night vision?"

"Do midgets have night vision?"

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(via Yahoo / Stubers)

3. "What if the girl that thinks I'm the dad isn't the mom?"

"What if the girl that thinks I'm the dad isn't the mom?"

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(via Yahoo / sig_in_elko)

4. "My wife wants to eat her placenta. Is that okay if she is vegan?"

"My wife wants to eat her placenta. Is that okay if she is vegan?"

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(via Yahoo)

5. "Is there a spell to become a mermaid that actually works?"

"Is there a spell to become a mermaid that actually works?"

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(via Yahoo / bmx4life)

6. "How do I take care of my pet potato?"

"How do I take care of my pet potato?"

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(via Yahoo / Julia)

7. "How do you lose weight without moving?"

"How do you lose weight without moving?"

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(via Yahoo / Morty)

8. "I was bitten by a turtle when I was a young lad. Should I still drink orange juice?"

"I was bitten by a turtle when I was a young lad. Should I still drink orange juice?"

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(via Yahoo)

9. "How do you get spaghetti stains out of underwear?"

"How do you get spaghetti stains out of underwear?"

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(via Yahoo)

10. "How much Listerine does it take to get drunk?"

"How much Listerine does it take to get drunk?"

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(via Yahoo / Ramona)

11. "Are skeletons real or made up?"

"Are skeletons real or made up?"

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(via Yahoo)

12. "Are there any autographs of Jesus Christ?"

"Are there any autographs of Jesus Christ?"

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(via Yahoo)

13. "How can I safely look at a picture of the sun?"

"How can I safely look at a picture of the sun?"

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(via Yahoo)

14. "Do you think NASA invented thunder to cover up the sound of space battles?"

"Do you think NASA invented thunder to cover up the sound of space battles?"

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(via Yahoo / Robert)

15. "How big is the specific ocean?"

"How big is the specific ocean?"

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(via Yahoo / John)

16. "Do you guys think that if M.J. hadn't died, he would still be alive today?"

"Do you guys think that if M.J. hadn't died, he would still be alive today?"

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(via Yahoo / Luis)

17. "What happens if you paint your teeth with white nail polish?"

"What happens if you paint your teeth with white nail polish?"

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(via Yahoo / franchelli811)

18. "Do you think humans will ever walk on the sun?"

"Do you think humans will ever walk on the sun?"

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(via Yahoo)

19. "How many calories are in a booger?"

"How many calories are in a booger?"

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(via Yahoo)

20. "If evolution is true, then why don't pigs have wings?"

"If evolution is true, then why don't pigs have wings?"

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(via Yahoo)

And there you have it, folks. Definitive proof that everything is terrible. Now go out there and ask a stupid question! In the meantime, this is what I'll be doing.

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